Archives for posts with tag: voice in my head

In 2014 I’m looking forward to exploring more of The Middle Way.

After several shifts and awakenings this year, I can honestly say that I think my soul is starting to rub her eyes, inspirate and move. Its a looong, slooow process. Like when my little guy rises with the sun, he jabbers at the dark for a few minutes, then I go in and say ‘good morning’. He then likes to tell me about how he slept and what first came to mind when he woke up, like ‘reach the lights’ (meaning that he can now reach the light switch and turn his bedroom light on… and off… and on and off again… at 5:30.

At times I’ve been reluctant to my own arousal. Maybe even tried to slip back underneath the veil of my ego and chase the things I’m used to chasing. I’ve tried for money, fame, status. All of which have led me back to the same realization. The Middle Way.

lotus-flower.jpg

Its certainly tempting to want to push my career to a place where everybody knows my name. And its just as easy to follow the same trance that so many other people seem to be in: that you should work your life a way, make a bunch more money than you need and attain the stuff that makes you who you are. But again, when I find myself on the ledge that plummets to that same spot, something in my gut always guides me to stillness. And in that stillness I recall contentment and the truth of what MY happiness.

And now, I know, you are just waiting for me to tell you what that is. Like if one more person were to tell you what their happiness came from you could go after it and you would find happiness too… but would you?  So today I refrain from sharing my happiness. With the intention that 2014 be THE year that you find your own sense of truth. That you and everyone around you be guided by that inner voice that guides us all home.

May we all find happiness, and the root of happiness.

namaste.

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“… inhale … exhale… tailbone down, retract your shoulder blade… inhale… exhale… did she say elbows in?… inhale… exhale… low belly in…”

The voice in my head is a constant stream of guidance during a yoga class. I didn’t truly notice how much I was ‘talking to myself’ until this morning, when I had a truly unique experience during my practice.

The teacher was guiding us through a class, flow by flow, one pose mindfully framing the other, until we made our way to  Eka Pada Rajakapotasana, or king pigeon pose.  I found myself in quite the predicament:  one leg folded in front of me, one leg behind me- bent in a just so way in order to get my arms overhead and grab my foot. And there, in that moment, a breath… a pause… and as I found my form in the mirror the conversation in my head shifted.  ‘Wow Sara, you have really great alignment here.’ Like a best friend was standing over my shoulder and recognizing where I was exactly then, instead of my usual self reaching for what I wanted the pose to be.

Magical.

You wouldn’t believe the shift! My whole practice (13 years and counting) I don’t believe I’ve ever really stopped in the moment like that to see exactly what the pose was. Now I’ve had plenty of (what we call in the trade) AH-HA! moments. First headstand, first crow pose, first truly neutral pelvis in a warrior pose etc. But to actually be in the physical pose and SEE the physical pose was astounding.

It wasn’t even the perfection of the pose- because I can’t even do the full expression, but the pose itself is actually irrelevant here.  Whether you’re doing wheel pose, crow pose or standing in line at Starbucks is not what truly matters.

When was the last time you actually stopped to be your own cheerleader? Our relationship with our self (or should I say MY) gets so put down by cultural adherence and societal conformity that we are never enough, we forget to recognize our own talents and gifts- even to the point that we (I) struggle with taking a complement.

Have you ever noticed how hard it is to tell someone that you are good at what you do, or to create a resume that boasts your accomplishments? If you don;t struggle with that then when was the last time you let yourself believe that you are a good wife, sister, daughter, mother? I can assure it wasn’t recent enough!

As an exercise this week I’m going to practice gratitude. Of course I am incredibly grateful for my beautiful and healthy family, my amazing and inspiring co-workers. I’m grateful for the people who bag my groceries and for the folks who do the hard jobs everyday.

My practice this week is of gratitude for me. For all I’ve learned and have yet to learn. I’m grateful for my yoga practice and my mommy belly. I’m grateful for my dedication to the growth of all beings around me. And I’m grateful for this body, mind and spirit- without which I would not have been able to practice with my eyes open for the first time today.

namaste