Archives for posts with tag: lotus flower

In 2014 I’m looking forward to exploring more of The Middle Way.

After several shifts and awakenings this year, I can honestly say that I think my soul is starting to rub her eyes, inspirate and move. Its a looong, slooow process. Like when my little guy rises with the sun, he jabbers at the dark for a few minutes, then I go in and say ‘good morning’. He then likes to tell me about how he slept and what first came to mind when he woke up, like ‘reach the lights’ (meaning that he can now reach the light switch and turn his bedroom light on… and off… and on and off again… at 5:30.

At times I’ve been reluctant to my own arousal. Maybe even tried to slip back underneath the veil of my ego and chase the things I’m used to chasing. I’ve tried for money, fame, status. All of which have led me back to the same realization. The Middle Way.


Its certainly tempting to want to push my career to a place where everybody knows my name. And its just as easy to follow the same trance that so many other people seem to be in: that you should work your life a way, make a bunch more money than you need and attain the stuff that makes you who you are. But again, when I find myself on the ledge that plummets to that same spot, something in my gut always guides me to stillness. And in that stillness I recall contentment and the truth of what MY happiness.

And now, I know, you are just waiting for me to tell you what that is. Like if one more person were to tell you what their happiness came from you could go after it and you would find happiness too… but would you?  So today I refrain from sharing my happiness. With the intention that 2014 be THE year that you find your own sense of truth. That you and everyone around you be guided by that inner voice that guides us all home.

May we all find happiness, and the root of happiness.



These past 2 weeks have been quite the roller coaster!

My little boy turned 1, weaning coincided. The emotions that followed were completely unexpected and overwhelming.

I started a cleanse, which I felt totally ready for, but nonetheless am struggling with horrible caffeine withdrawal and wanting to gag on vegetables.

Work is stressing me out.

Over the weekend I was completely convinced that the only thing that would make anything feel better was to just stay in bed and be sad.

To top things off I have decided to open Pandoras Box and begin taking my own personal yoga training- which always proves to be rocky and mucky before its serene and peaceful. (enter the lotus flower)

I’m a firm believer in the Buddhist concept that we have to have experienced darkness (suffering) in order to appreciate light (non-suffering). So when I get these moods, which happens less and less often, I know to just go with the flow. This could be quite the undertaking for someone who didn’t have an understanding of the necessity of dark in order to see light.

Sometimes the harder we try to ignore the bad mood the worse it gets. Like a craving for a chocolate chip cookie. We end up eating everything BUT it, just so we don’t feel we’ve lost the battle, when if we would’ve just had a small chocolate chip cookie, we would have avoided fighting ourselves and been able to move on much more quickly. (Note to self- stop using food analogies while on a cleanse!)

I have to let myself feel down because I believe I will feel even better when its over. Some of my best tools besides just laying low are yoga, running, music. I like to be by myself, keep things pretty quiet, and unplug as much as possible. Instead of letting it be total depression I try to make it an introspective opportunity.  I’ve been through this enough in my life that I know as long as I keep breathing I can get through ANYTHING- even the most difficult moments with myself.

It might even be a good thing that I’m cleansing through all of this- because if I wasn’t I would have eaten MORE than my share of chocolate chip cookies- mmm!