Archives for posts with tag: brutal truth

In 2014 I’m looking forward to exploring more of The Middle Way.

After several shifts and awakenings this year, I can honestly say that I think my soul is starting to rub her eyes, inspirate and move. Its a looong, slooow process. Like when my little guy rises with the sun, he jabbers at the dark for a few minutes, then I go in and say ‘good morning’. He then likes to tell me about how he slept and what first came to mind when he woke up, like ‘reach the lights’ (meaning that he can now reach the light switch and turn his bedroom light on… and off… and on and off again… at 5:30.

At times I’ve been reluctant to my own arousal. Maybe even tried to slip back underneath the veil of my ego and chase the things I’m used to chasing. I’ve tried for money, fame, status. All of which have led me back to the same realization. The Middle Way.

lotus-flower.jpg

Its certainly tempting to want to push my career to a place where everybody knows my name. And its just as easy to follow the same trance that so many other people seem to be in: that you should work your life a way, make a bunch more money than you need and attain the stuff that makes you who you are. But again, when I find myself on the ledge that plummets to that same spot, something in my gut always guides me to stillness. And in that stillness I recall contentment and the truth of what MY happiness.

And now, I know, you are just waiting for me to tell you what that is. Like if one more person were to tell you what their happiness came from you could go after it and you would find happiness too… but would you?  So today I refrain from sharing my happiness. With the intention that 2014 be THE year that you find your own sense of truth. That you and everyone around you be guided by that inner voice that guides us all home.

May we all find happiness, and the root of happiness.

namaste.

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So a few days ago I got a text from one of my girlfriends.  ‘Hey there, any interest in doing the Colfax Half Marathon?’ she asked. I remember thinking ‘Colfax, May, could be nice.’ But for whatever reason I didn’t text her back right away. The longer I thought about it the more obvious it got that this was something I should probably do. What I came to realize over the course of the 2 days that I didn’t get back to her was that I have gotten lazy.

Any success that I’ve had toward any goal I’ve set for myself has come from focus and consistency or training. Well, the brutal truth is that the only thing I do consistently these days is be inconsistent!

I am someone who thrives on regiment. I excel at organization and structure. I look forward to making schedules and setting up plans, lists and charts.

I think what has happened is that in my effort to go-with-the-baby-flow I have accidentally become one of those moms who doesn’t put herself on the list. This is a big deal considering that one of the things that kept me from becoming a mother earlier in life was that I knew I was selfish and I wasn’t ready to give that up. I guess I could look at that 2 ways: yay, I’ve let go of some of my compulsions to put myself first which has helped me to relax into mommyhood, or wow, I am the only one who is in the way of getting my butt to the gym! And really I think both are true.

So now that I’ve made it through January and can stop beating myself up about not doing all of the things I thought I would do in the new year, I can get started on some serious goals. As I stated before, my previous successes (of all types) have all come from focus and consistency. So here’s the plan: Every Tuesday, beginning February 5 will be my blog day. My intention is to highlight a different aspect of the Mind Body Battalion Trinity every week to provide you and myself with some consistency. I would like to commit to practicing yoga Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday and maybe Sunday.

And yes, I am doing the race in May, so I will have to run 3 times a week. Mondays will be my distance day, Thursdays will be my Red Rocks day, Fridays will be my trail day. It truly does feel good to have a plan and a goal. The Type-A in me is finally getting the structure its been looking for.