Perpetual laundry…

Nursing every 3 hours…

I don’t even remember what our kitchen counter looks like…

And a house so full of love and delight that I can’t even explain it.

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One of my biggest ah-ha moments as a mom was when I realized- for myself- that love grows exponentially.

‘Love’ seems to be one of those buzz words lately. ‘If we just LOVE each other…’ or ‘Love is the answer’. But to be honest with you I thought this was all kind of cheesy. Now if you read my blog then you’ve probably realized I teach yoga and practice buddhist meditation- so I understand all about love and compassion. But I have felt like there was an inauthenticity in the way some people used this expression ‘LOVE’.

I remember when I was towards the end of my first pregnancy, I was driving on the highway, jamming to ‘Black and Gold’ by Sam Sparro. I got really teary thinking that I wasn’t sure how I was going to love this baby because what I did was love my husband. Thats who I was, I was his wife and we loved each other, how was I going to have enough love for them both. Now I know what you’re thinking: this seems like I felt love was a scarce commodity- but it was how I felt. A few weeks go by and the nurse hands me my firstborn- and in that moment I understood how love works.

There are, in my recent experience, no limitations and no boundaries on love. Yet we all define it and experience it differently. My becoming a mother allowed my love to become bound-less. I have been able to love more people more freely, more compassionately because my kiddos have shown me how to love- MY WAY. Love grows and multiplies at astonishing rates. The trick is that we have to be open to the timing and the possibilities. It won’t do us any good to adopt another persons version of love. I would even say that doing this can lead us down a very unfulfilled and potentially self-destructive road.

So stay your course, look for YOUR love in all the unexpected places. Let it make you hurt and let it make you cry. Question it and doubt it.  And on the other side, if you’re lucky, you’ll be able to say that you LOVED in your own way as hard as you could… and the dishes will eventually get clean. The good news is that dishes don’t matter so much when you are full of LOVE.

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