Archives for the month of: March, 2013

About a month and a half ago I decided to register for a half marathon with one of my girlfriends. I started training indoors because of the inclement Colorado winter. I headed to the gym for my 3 mile run, and about 1 mile in felt a sharp pinch in my lower back.

Many of you have probably been faced with the question that I then had to ask myself: ‘Do I keep running/ training and possible make the injury worse, which could take me out of the race all together? Or, do I take it easy today, get this checked out and hopefully fixed, fast?’

I headed to the chiropractor, because it felt to me like a joint issue… nothing happened. The pain got better with some of the suggested exercises so I thought I’d try running outside. The pain got worse. I tried a massage, the pain got worse. UGH!

Now I am so frustrated that I can’t run, I don’t even care about the race!

Its interesting to me how challenging it can be to have an injury prevent you from doing what you want to do, when you want to do it.

I’m doing my best to take something away from this experience… Is the Universe trying to tell me to stop running?

Actually, I think She’s trying to teach me, again, to be patient with myself and practice compassion.

It has always been easier for me to express patience and compassion for other people than for myself. Generally, when I find myself in situations that cause me internal strife I give up, walk away, avoid the failure. This time I’m going to stick with it, I’m worth it. If it takes me forever to heal, I just want to run again. This injury is my reminder to NEVER take anything for granted.

No matter what your goals are, they will have obstacles. How you overcome those obstacles is what defines you. At the end of the day you only have yourself to look at in the mirror. If you can look at yourself with understanding, love, kindness and honesty, those obstacles are simple pebbles on the path carved out of the most tremendous boulders you’ve ever seen. Instead of stopping you in your tracks, you simply notice them press into the bottom of your shoe as you walk over them with grace.

 

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Hi, my name is Sara, and I’m addicted to sugar.

Once in college I had a professor in my Public Speaking class who gave us a presentation that provided the following position: Sugar is as addictive as Heroin.

I remember being shocked by the parallels he drew between the activity in the brain that occurs when we eat refined sugar in comparison to taking addictive drugs. Not only are the brain signals the same while on it, but both types of substances create the same effects of withdrawals: moodiness, desire of isolation, anxiety etc.

I’m 10.5 months out from having a baby, and about 1 month ago I started to drop below pre-baby weight. I had mixed emotions about this. I had bought some new clothes when I attained my pre-baby weight, as that was my goal and the clothes were my reward. I was disappointed these clothes were fitting too big. Also, I didn’t know how concerned to be about continuing to loose weight while I was breastfeeding. While you are breastfeeding you can burn up to 500 additional calories each day. My reaction to the weight-loss was to start taking in more calories. Now because my taste in food is generally healthy, I find it challenging to eat more than 1500 calories per day, so I turned to treats to add the calories. A panera cookie here, a Starbucks morning bun there,  and now I have myself a pretty good sugar addiction. I get cravings, I think of sweets often, I have them several times a day. I’ll also admit that though I was uncomfortable with the weight- loss, I did feel pretty svelt. So with all the sugar I’ve been eating I’ve noticed the bulge is going right to my belly. UGH! right when I was finally getting rid of my gut!

There are tons of ‘answers’ to this ‘problem’ online. Take this supplement, join this 4 day detox, start a 12 step program- all of which could potentially work. But because I’ve been on this bender before, I know for me the best thing to do is to start holding myself accountable. I have an app on my phone that helps me journal what I eat everyday. I add up calories and then I review it at the end of the day to see where my calories are truly coming from. Also, when I feel a sugar craving coming on, I turn to protein. A handful of cashews, lowfat cheese or greek yogurt are great options for me, as I find the protein satiates my craving and I get a little metabolism boost.

Chances are I will probably fall off the wagon again. My birthday is in April as well as my boys. There will inevitably be birthday treats around the house. But if I keep myself on track the majority of the time, and anticipate when I’ll be in a situation where sugar could be present then I can be prepared with protein snacks. The best tool of all… willpower. The hardest part of all… willpower.

I know, I know, its been 3 weeks… so much for consistency!

I’ve been in the throws of single-working-parentdom while my husband has been traveling for work. While I’ve been focused on the survival of my little one and making sure the house doesn’t burn down I let my blog take a back seat. And it KILLED me!

Not because I think my blog is all that important- hell I don’t even know if anyone is reading it because no one leaves comments 😉 but I find it challenging these days to let things go. I struggle with the overwhelm of it all. Even though becoming a parent was a very conscious decision (as I try to make most decisions consciously- which you would probably be able to piece together from my other entries) I had no way of anticipating just how much of myself I would automatically let go of. Yet I hold a tight grasp on things like checking off my to-do list, and having a big career.

I get wrapped up in all of the things I have to do, yet I don’t do them because its more important to be present with the little guy. When he finally goes to sleep I steal 45 minutes or so to get some ‘work’ done before I settle down for the evening with my hubs, whose favorite pasttime with me is watching tv. So when does my cup get refilled?

I know I keep writing about the same thing over and over again, but I’m starting to see it as part of my process. I struggle with letting go of these things that I think I need to be fulfilled: meditation, exercise, work etc.  What I’m starting to realize is that when I became a mother I somewhat gave those things over. The first foreshadowing of this was when we started the baby’s room. This was a bedroom in our house that I had turned in to a very sacred space. My desk, alter and bookshelf of books were in this room. My sanctuary of sorts. When I got pregnant we decided to turn it in to the nursery. I moved all my stuff out and the baby stuff moved in. I remember the heaviness of that day, that was directly followed by excitement and anticipation. I remember thinking how I’d given something up, but then realized that this sacred space was just shifting, not going away completely.

So these things that I hold on to so tight, that perhaps define me in some ways, actually still do, but in different shapes and experiences. My meditation is in observing my handsome boy, watching him learn, and seeing things through his innocent eyes. My exercise (some of it) is definitely in chasing after him. My work is in being a mindful mother, making sure he grows in to a mindful man.

Like I would imagine so many of you do, I tend to not give myself enough credit on a far too consistent basis. Sometimes it takes someone’s outside perception of you and the whole picture to help you see what a good job you are doing. When you have that opportunity to see yourself as you really are. thank that person.

Thank you sister! You’re the best.